101 Love Tips

It’s no secret that one romantic relationship is never exactly like another, and that the strengths and challenges present in your romance make it as unique as a set of fingerprints.  That’s why I don’t like the term “relationship expert.” The only real expert when it comes to your relationship is you and your significant other, and any advice you might find here or from similar sources will be useless unless it’s tailored to your relationship’s specific dynamics.

The importance of not having things in common

The uniqueness of your romantic relationship springs partially from external influences that you have little control over: your environment, the people around you, or even your health.  But the ingredients that play the biggest role in any romantic relationship’s success or failure are, without a doubt, the individual qualities of the partners themselves.

Have you ever really taken the time to identify the unique talents, quirks and interests that your sweetheart brings to your relationship?  Having things in common with your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend is very important to the success of a relationship or marriage, sure.  But letting your lover know that your appreciate and encourage their unique qualities–even if they are qualities that your will never share with them–can be just as important. 

Do you appreciate or tolerate?

Are you someone who understands and appreciates your sweetheart’s unique qualities, or someone who just tolerates or ignores those unique qualities?  A person is a conglomeration of each and every one of their interests, experiences, strengths and weaknesses.  Understanding those qualities, and appreciating how they have shaped the person you love, can give you much greater insight into how your relationship works . . . and how to improve it.

One of the great things about a romantic relationship is that a good partner inevitably broadens our horizons and makes us a more complete person.  Allowing yourself to learn from your sweetheart’s unique qualities and interests won’t just help you appreciate them more; it will also broaden your understanding and help you live a more fulfilling life.

Encourage individuality . . . and become closer!

And if your partner has are a few unique qualities or interests that you know you’ll never have in common with them, there’s nothing wrong with not joining them.  Even the perfect couple doesn’t have everything in common, and it’s healthy to have hobbies or pastimes that you can practice by yourself.    

Your sweetheart will inevitably have certain qualities or intersts that aren’t appealing to you.  But promise yourself to consider those qualities and appreciate how they make your lover who they are.  By helping your lover to be proud of their unique qualities, and by telling them that you appreciate those qualities, you’ll build a much more open, romantic relationship.

Ironically, by encouraging a certain amount of individuality in your romantic relationship, you’ll quickly discover that you and your sweetheart have more in common than you ever dreamed!                 

Romance Tracker’s recent post on 10 reasons why blogging is like dating has attracted quite a bit of attention and linkbacks across the blogosphere.  In a funny coincidence, I sent the post to Liz Strauss at Successful Blog without even realizing that she had recently launched a group writing project about blogging metaphors!  :)

Liz was kind enough to include our post in the first batch of ”What’s Your Blogging Metaphor?” submissions, and I’m reproducing the full list for your enjoyment below.  Check them out if you get a chance!

Here are the blogs that linked back to Romance Tracker this week using the anchor text “romantic ideas.” As promised, I’m linking back to them using the anchor text they requested.

Dating Tips

Do you want to make your blog rank higher in the search engines with a link back from Romance Tracker, too? This is all you have to do: Write a short post about Romance Tracker giving away free linkbacks. And in that post, make sure that you link back to our homepage using the anchor text “romantic ideas.” Here’s an example of what I’m looking for:

Hey, Romance Tracker is a PR 4 blog that’s giving free linkbacks to your site if you link to them using the anchor text romantic ideas. Go do it!

It’s that simple. After you’ve posted your link, just contact me and I’ll link to your site in a weekly post using any anchor text you want. I don’t care what your blog is about, I’ll link back to it!

You’d be surprised how many new visitors we get here at Romance Tracker every day who are searching for ideas to make their wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend more romantic.  Adding romantic ideas to your relationship is a wonderful, addicting way to make things fresh and inspiring, but it’s an unfortunate fact that it just doesn’t come naturally to everyone. The type of family environment they were raised in, disappointing past relationships, and even self-consciousness and embarrassment can all play a roll in your spouse or significant other being an unromantic person.       

But what if I told you there was a surefire, guaranteed way to make your significant other more romantic, enthusiastic about your relationship or marriage, and more excited about loving you?  It’s true!  And the secret to making your lover more romantic is the same secret that successful leaders have used countless times to inspire others.

Leading by example

The secret to making your sweetheart more romantic is this: leading by example.  No, leading by example is not an instant problem solver that will immediately make your spouse a more romantic person.  But it is an effective, personally satisfying way to show your lover that romantic living is easy, feels great, and is important to you.

Make no mistake about it: inspiring positive change in others through leading by example can be a long, arduous process that may require a lot of patience and persistence on your part.  Even after months of adding exciting romantic ideas to your daily routine, you may be disappointed that your sweetheart hasn’t turned on to romance yet.  But if you’re committed to making your relationship work, and you have faith that your lover really can become a more romantic person, quitting isn’t an option.

Romantic leadership styles

When you want to inspire change in someone, there are basically two types of leadership styles you can use: making them fear the consequences if they don’t do as you say, or inspiring them to change by stepping up to the challenge yourself. 

Personally, I don’t like the first type of leadership.  The greatest leaders in history have used leading by example to inspire their troops or teammates to do things they never thought possible.  Inspiring others through leading by example makes people work harder, enjoy the process more, feel like they are making a real difference, and take more satisfaction in the final product.       

The same goes for inspiring your sweetheart to be more romantic.  Instead of putting them down or making them feel miserable for not being romantic enough, why not show them yourself how fun and easy it can be?  If you’re truly a romantic person, simply being romantic is reward in itself.  With practice, you’ll become better at perfecting the subtlety, gentleness and patience that defines the best kind of romance . . . the kind that inspires others to be romantic, too!

Don’t overdo it

When trying to make your sweetheart more romantic through leading by example, however, make sure you don’t overdo it.  Being too clingy or sappy can actually have the opposite effect and make your lover more cynical and embarrassed about your relationship. 

Remember, real old-fashioned romance is subtle, not flashy.  Sometimes less is more when it comes to making your sweetheart feel good.  Occasional grand, sweeping romantic gestures are great–especially on special occasions like anniversaries.  But the understated is almost always preferable to the overstated.  

A single rose, if presented properly, can be much more romantic than a dozen roses.

So what are you waiting for?

There’s no better time to start leading by example and making your lover more romantic than right now!  You’re at a computer, so why not send them a romantic email and let them know you’re thinking about them?  Or pick up a nice bouquet of flowers after work and give it to them for no reason at all?

Leading by example to make your wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend more romantic will take plenty of time, patience and persistence.  But if your reward simply come from the act of being romantic, leading by example can be a satisfying and fulfilling experience.