101 Love Tips

Hey, did you know that learning about what works and what doesn’t work in blogging is a great way to polish your dating skills, too? It’s true! At its core, creating a successful blog is about communicating well, connecting with your audience, and putting on your best face . . . each of which are great romantic ideas for improving your personal relationships, as well.

So does this mean that the most successful bloggers have the best relationships, too? I don’t know the answer to that, but it sure seems that Darren Rowse, Alister Cameron, John Chow and Dan and Jennifer do a great job of injecting the same creativity, passion and intensity into their relationships as they do into their ultra-successful blogs. Having a great blog may not guarantee that you’l have a great dating life or marriage, but following the same secrets of success will certainly put you on the right track.

Luckily, you don’t have to start your own blog to learn what those secrets are. The top ten are listed below, tested and refined by millions of bloggers across the globe.Whether you use them to improve your dating life or your blog is up to you. Just remember: you can’t kiss a computer screen!

Top Ten Reasons why Blogging is Like Dating

1. First impressions are everything.

Sure, you may have plenty of useful, exciting stuff to offer someone, but they’ll never get a chance to find out if you don’t set the stage with a great first impression.

In dating, that’s done by taking good care of your physical appearance, having a positive attitude, and showing interest in your date. In blogging, you need a clean, professional design, easily-accessible and interesting content, and a readily-defined subject so your visitors know what you’re about right away.

2. You should never pretend to be someone you aren’t.

Playing a role and acting like you’re someone else may get you somewhere in the short run, but if you aren’t the person you’re pretending to be, you’re going to get found out eventually. If you’re trying to fool your date into thinking you’re an expert on a topic you have no passion for, they’re going to figure your out sooner or later.

The same goes for blogging. Blog about what you enjoy, not what your think will bring you money and fame.

3. Finding the one for you can take time.

What are the chances that your very first date will lead you into the arms of your perfect match? Close to zero. That special someone may be out there, but you may have to search for a long time to find them. Just because you’ve suffered from a string of bad dates, you shouldn’t give up hope and stop trying.

Similarly, just because you’ve had some failures with different blogs doesn’t mean you should turn off the computer and quit. Finding your niche in the blogging world can take time, too. Your failures are giving you more experience, and that next blog just might be the one that takes off for you.

4. A bad reputation can ruin your chances.

Deserved or not, a bad reputation can sabotage an opportunity to start a relationship with an interesting new person. Sure, it’s possible to put your past behind you and become a better, more appealing person, but overcoming a bad reputation can take a long time and a lot of hard work. “Oh, I’ve heard of you” is never something you want to hear on a first date.

In the blogosphere, a bad reputation can be earned just as easily. Whether it’s through rude comments on other blogs or sloppy and unprofessional writing on your own, a bad blogging reputation can follow you around for years. Remember: everything you ever post online is going to be there for everyone to see for a long, long time!

5. Good communication is essential.

If you can’t communicate to your date about who you are, your passions and your dreams, it will probably end up being a pretty short evening. Creating a great romantic relationship is all about communicating, getting to know each other, and learning about what makes each other tick. Having a pretty face is fine, but without communication skills, you’re probably going to face a string of lousy relationships.

Communication is just as important, if not moreso, in blogging. You can distract a new visitor with flashy aesthetic stuff for a few minutes, but unless you’re able to effectively communicate to them about why your blog is worth visiting again, they won’t be back. And you might have great ideas for posts, but if you can’t write or edit worth a darn, who’s going to want to trudge through them?

6. You should concentrate on what you have in common.

Having things in common with your significant other is essential in maintaining a successful romantic relationship, and the old adage about “opposites attract” is hogwash. One of the best ways to capture your date’s interest and guarantee a second date is by discovering what you have in common. If you discover that you just don’t have any mutual interests or experiences, it’s probably a good sign that you just won’t work out.

Having things in common with your blog’s visitors is every bit as essential if you want to build a loyal readership. If you find yourself starting to post on things that have nothing to do with your readers’ interests, it may be time to close up shop and start another blog with a new subject.

7. “Playing the field” can get you into big trouble.

There are plenty of people who do just fine with juggling several shallow, uncommitted relationships at once, but that sort of lifestyle will never let them reap the benefits of a loving, monogamous relationship. Having multiple relationships at once will make you less emotionally satisfied, less financially secure, and more at risk for a long list of unappetizing hazards.

And the exact same can be said for blogging! There are a few examples of people who have found success by starting a dozen blogs at once, but most people who try that just end up with twelve crappy blogs. It’s better to concentrate your efforts on one blog, building its readership and then branching out into other similar niches when you’ve found success with your flagship.

8. There’s nothing more attractive than self-confidence.

Arrogance is never an attractive quality, but a healthy amount of self-confidence is extremely appealing on a first date. Showing confidence in your abilities, lifestyle and unique qualities makes other people more excited about learning about you, and a confident, upbeat person is just plain fun to be around.

Showing self-confidence in your blog posts is a great way to build reader loyalty and trust. Never second-guess yourself, put your own blog down or back down in the face of inevitable criticism. Instead, present your content as professionally, confidently and optimistically as possible.

9. You’ll improve your chances for success if you make sure things are right in your life first.

Let’s put it bluntly: if you’re having serious problems with your family, career or mindset in your own life, it’s not the right time to try to find a person to share that life with you. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t allow yourself to get to know interesting new people until everything in your life is perfect. I am saying that concentrating on building a successful career, a successful relationship with your friends and family, and a optimistic outlook on life will help out your dating life immensely.

If you’re thinking of starting up a blog, make sure you’re in a position in your life to take on the responsibility. First and foremost, never assume it will be a replacement for your career. The livelihood that supports your family will always be more important than your hobbies, but plenty of bloggers have let their addiction to the blogosphere negatively affect their performance at work.

10. Learning to love yourself makes it easier for others to love you.

That good old cliche about “love thyself” is some of the best advice you can get to build a better, more loving relationship. Feeling good about yourself, and being proud of the things you do, is a great way to learn to concentrate on your best qualities and share them with those around you.

You may enjoy blogging, but have you truly learned to love your blog? Do you feel good about its unique qualities? Can you look through the eyes of your loyal visitors and see what they enjoy about it? Being critical of ourselves and our projects is good to a certain degree, but make sure you allow yourself to be proud of your blog’s best qualities. Learning to love your blog will let you offer your readers more of what makes it truly great!

Here are the first two blogs that linked back to Romance Tracker using the anchor text “romantic ideas.”  As promised, I’m linking back to them using the anchor text they requested.

Romance & Dating Advice

Dating Tales

Do you want to make your blog rank higher in the search engines with a link back from Romance Tracker, too?

This is all you have to do: Write a short post about Romance Tracker giving away free linkbacks. And in that post, make sure that you link back to our homepage using the anchor text “romantic ideas.” Here’s an example of what I’m looking for:

Hey, Romance Tracker is a PR 4 blog that’s giving free linkbacks to your site if you link to them using the anchor text romantic ideas. Go do it!

It’s that simple. After you’ve posted your link, just contact me and I’ll link to your site in a weekly post using any anchor text you want. I don’t care what your blog is about, I’ll link back to it!

I mentioned a while ago that I was going to start doing some optimization here on Romance Tracker aimed at making the site rank higher when someone searched for “Romantic Ideas” in Google.  I  changing our home page link anchor tect to “Romantic Ideas,” am using the term more often in posts, and doing some other boring technical stuff designed to help us rank higher.

The good news is that it’s working!  Romance Tracker ranked 260 for the term “Romantic Ideas” ten days ago, and today we rank at 137.  We’re definitely on the right track!

If you have a blog and want to help, link back to Romance Tracker with the anchor text “Romantic Ideas” and I’ll make sure to do the same for you using any anchor text you want.  Thanks!

Those of you who are regular visitors may notice that I have a new addition to the sidebar here on Romance Tracker . . . it’s a little coffee cup!

I hadn’t planned on putting a tip jar or donation button on this site, because I had tried it with other blogs and it never really brought in any income.  But I came across an interesting plugin called “buy me a beer” and decided to use their great idea here on Romance Tracker.

No beer for me, of course . . . not while I’m working!  But I do love coffee . . . some people say I drink a little bit too much!

So if you like Romance Tracker and want to help me with future posts, clicking on the cup and donating some change for coffee would be a great start!

One of the things I love about blogging here on Romance Tracker is that the subject of romance is so broad; just like relationships, romantic ideas come in an endless variety of shapes, sizes and types. It’s tough to run out of ideas for posts when your subject matter is so diverse.

Like fingerprints or snowflakes, no single romantic relationship is the same as any other. And the perfect ways to improve a specific relationship aren’t the secret knowledge of anyone who isn’t a part of that relationship. Sure, there are generic tips and advice that might help you reach your goals, but the best relationship advice you can get comes from just one person: you.

That’s why I really don’t like the term “relationship expert.” You may be able to find plenty of romantic ideas here on Romance Tracker and from other similar sources, but there’s really no one else who’s an expert on your unique relationship with your wife, husband boyfriend or girlfriend. Only by applying these generic romantic ideas in ways that fit your individual situation can you really make any positive changes.

So don’t ever make the mistake of thinking that any “relationship expert” can tell you exactly how to fix or add more romance to your marriage or relationship. Instead, you need to focus on becoming the one true “expert” when it comes to your romance, and reshape generic relationship tips to fit its uniqueness.

Don’t settle for just regurgitating the romantic ideas you find here on Romance Tracker without modifying them to fit your relationship. Make the decision to use the great ideas you discover here and on other sites as inspiration for positive changes in your relationship . . . but remember, the only “relationship expert” who can truly help you . . . is you!

Okay, so in retrospect, maybe my post the other day about this site ranking number two for the Google search “ten ways to kill your boyfriend” wasn’t the best idea. I’m looking at my stats this morning and I see that now I’m getting hits from people searching for “ways to kill your wife.” What the heck is wrong with this world?

If you’re looking for ideas on how to kill your wife or husband, you aren’t going to find them here, sicko! And did you know that the sites you visit can track your computer’s IP address for use in your prosecution? Get a clue!

At least the two hits I got for that disgusting search term this morning didn’t come from the United States . . . one was from Bangalore, India and the other from Lambeth, London. Still, it’s pretty unsettling to know that there are people out there who are even researching this sort of thing.

At least the guy from India stuck around the site for about two minutes and viewed five pages. Maybe he discovered some great romantic ideas and decided there was a better way to repair his marriage.

If you’re looking for solutions, why not focus your energy on trying to heal your romantic relationship, instead? Have you seen our post on how problems can help your relationship?

I don’t care how bad your relationship is . . . physical violence against your spouse is never a good option. If you’ve got those kind of thoughts in your head, you’d be better off just leaving instead!

A while ago I posted a request for Romance Tracker fans to vote for this blog as one of your Technorati Favorites, and it’s been a while since I checked our progress. Amazingly, 110 people have already declared themselves fans of Romance Tracker!

That’s an awesome show of support. In fact, we only need about another hundred votes to get onto the list of the 100 Most Favorited Blogs! Will you help us get there by voting for us?

Here’s how to do it:

1. Create an account on Technorati by clicking here. (It’s super easy and you can remain anonymous. Just pick a login name and add your email address)
2. Now click on the following link to add Romance Tracker to your Technorati Favorites (make sure you click the confirm button when it asks if you’re sure!): http://technorati.com/faves?add=http://www.romancetracker.com

It’s that easy! And if you REALLY want to help spread the word, you can email this page to a few of your friends and ask THEM to vote for us too!

Thanks for your help . . . and be sure to let us know if you have any ideas for improving the site and spreading the word about adding old-fashioned romance to modern relationships!

We’ve focused before on how romance is alive and well in millions of loving relationships around the world, in spite of our society’s tendency to trivialize romantic people. And yes, there are countless men and women out there who have decided to use romantic ideas like those highlighted here to improve their relationships and the world.

But regardless of what kind of unique ways these many romantic people add excitement and love to their relationships, they all have one important thing in common: none of them were always romantic people. The appeal of a romantic lifestyle is something that many people don’t appreciate until later in life, but regardless of your unromantic past, your future can always be made more romantic and fulfilling.

Feelings of regret or guilt over a less-than-perfect past can sabotage our efforts to create a loving, romantic relationship and a more satisfying life. Whether it’s failed relationships, embarrassing acts, or unromantic attitudes, your past can sometimes seem insurmountable of you’ve decided to change your life for the better.

Your past may seem insurmountable, but it never really is. As I said, every member of a successful relationship has an unromantic past, to some degree. We all have done things or been in relationships we regret, but making the decision to become a romantic person is the first step toward moving on and putting your past behind you.

Notice I say “put your past behind you” and not “forget your past.” Your past experiences and actions, good or bad, shaped you into the person you are today. Completely forgetting your unromantic past may seem appealing, but in doing so you’d lose the benefit of the many important lessons you’ve learned.

Instead, promise yourself to use your past mistakes to learn how to avoid actions that don’t encourage romance in your relationship. Never dwell on your mistakes, but use them as a reminder of why you made the decision to become a more romantic person.

It’s a bit of a cliche, but never forget: just because you’ve done bad things in the past doesn’t mean you can’t become a good person. And one of the most effective ways to remake yourself into a more loving, positive person is to find the same kind of person to share your life with.

Telling your wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend about your regrets can help you find some closure if they are understanding enough to accept them, but commit yourself to becoming a more romantic person before dredging up the past. Learning about your lover’s past can be a lifelong process; for the present, concentrate on showing your special someone how dedicated you are to making your relationship work.

And just as you would hope for patience and understanding if you decided to become more romantic and overcome your past, make sure to do the same for your sweetheart if they make that decision, as well. Remember that your special someone’s past has no bearing on your relationship if they’ve truly decided to make positive changes in their life, and prove to them how worthy you are of their love by helping them to change.

Overcoming your past and becoming a better, more romantic person is never impossible, regardless of your previous mistakes. Simply decide to learn from your past and apply one simple new romantic idea to your relationship every day, and you’ll be amazed at the new, positive person you can become!

Before you start getting nervous, I don’t plan on doing a post any time soon about how to kill your husband, how to kill your wife, how to kill your girlfriend, how to kill your boyfriend . . . or how to kill anyone, for that matter! I doubt those are the kind of romantic ideas our regular readers are looking for, and if you are, then you’ve come to the wrong place.

But search engines aren’t only used for innocent research, as I found out today. While I was looking through my site statistics, I noticed that someone found Romance Tracker today by typing “10 ways to kill your boyfriend” into a Google search. Apparently my post on the top ten ways to make your relationship completely UNromantic now ranks at number two when you enter that search phrase.

I don’t understand why Romance Tracker is ranking for information on how to murder your significant other, but I doubt anyone intent on spousal abuse is going to find any useful tips here. It did give me an idea for a quick post, though.

I don’t want to disappoint those of you who came here looking for ways to kill someone, so here’s another Top Ten List that might help!

Top Ten Ways to Kill Someone . . . With Kindness!

1. Read something nice for them.

2. Write them a romantic poem.

3. Give them a romantic massage.

4. Make them a romantic meal.

5. Watch a romantic movie with them.

6. Write a list of your favorite romantic memories for them.

7. Write them a romantic email.

8. Send them a romantic greeting card.

9. Buy them a bouquet of flowers.

10. Take them out on a romantic date.

Posting about romantic ideas every day here on Romance Tracker is a pretty easy thing to do, but actually adding more romance to your relationship and making it more fulfilling for your and your sweetheart can be difficult if you’ve hit a rough patch.  If you’re having problems in your romantic relationship and want to avoid a breakup, the best ways to refresh your love life and bring back excitement aren’t always easy to discover.

Every relationship faces its own unique challenges and difficulties, and the solutions to your romantic problems can be just as unique.  Loss of romantic interest, not having enough in common, family difficulties, even unfaithfulness or suspected cheating . . . any can spell trouble for a relationship, but none have to mean the end of your romance.

Remember, relationship problems are inevitable for any romantic couple, but if you face them as a determined team, they can actually make your love even stronger.  With optimism, patience, and understanding, you can turn any problem into an experience that will help you and your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband fall even deeper in love.

And while you’re the only person who can discover the best ways to save your struggling relationship, there are many foolproof, effective and simple methods you can use to add more love to the mix and make yourself more likely to succeed.  Ten of the easiest ways to stop your relationship from breaking up are listed below . . . but don’t stop with them!

Top Ten Ways to Save Your Relationship

1.  Make your sweetheart your number one priority

We all have responsibilities in our lives that take us away from our families and lovers, and fulfilling those responsibilities is part of being a good partner and a romantic person.  But even if you can’t spend as much time with your sweetheart as you would like, there are lots of ways to make it clear to them that they are still the number-one priority in your life.

2.  Learn about your sweetheart’s interests

We all bring unique interests, hobbies and talents to a relationship, and learning about your lover’s tastes and skills is a great way to appreciate them more and share rewarding time together.  Learning from each other and experiencing new things as a couple will bring you closer together, make your relationship more exciting and expand your horizons.

3.  Brag about your relationship

No one likes a loudmouth who never shuts up about their love life, but telling your friends, family and coworkers about how much you love your romantic relationship is a great way to make your sweetheart feel appreciated and make you excited about your romance.  Making it a habit to tastefully mention how thankful you are to have your lover will only make your relationship stronger.   

4.  Say “I’m proud of you” to your sweetheart

Everyone likes to feel that they are appreciated, and telling your lover that you are proud of them is one of the simplest . . . and least used . . . ways to make them feel good about themselves and your romantic relationship.  Whether you’re telling them how much you appreciate the job they do, their role in your relationship, or their sacrifices, “I’m proud of you” are four of the most effective words you can use to save your romance.

5.  Lead by example

Keeping score of who’s more romantic in your relationship is one of the worstways to promote romance in your relationship.  Just as members of any successful team have learned, the best way to encourage a certain kind of behavior in others is to lead by example.  So be more romantic with your lover, but don’t insist they do the same.  With enough encouragement, you may be surprised to see them start to come around themselves.

6.  Call in sick to work to spend time with your sweetheart 

I’m not saying you should try to get fired from your job, but if you’re doing well at work there is nothing wrong with taking a tiny holiday to spend time with the most important person in your life.  Briefly putting off other responsibilities to be with your lover is a great way to show them that they are the number one priority in your world.  

7.  Introduce some competition into your relationship

No, I don’t mean to make your sweetheart jealous by dating another person.  But a little good-natured romantic competition–whether it’s through competitive games, contests, sports, or bets–can be a terrific way to add a little excitement, interaction, and playfulness into your relationship.

8.  Compliment your sweetheart every now and then

Sure, it’s easy to overdo compliments and come across as over-the-top or insincere.  But regardless of whether or not your lover knows how you feel about them, a simple, kind compliment once in a while goes a long way in making them feel good about themselves and your relationship.

9. Get over your fear of coming across as too “clingy”

There’s a big difference between being tastefully romantic with your sweetheart and being “clingy.”  Hand-holding, simple kisses on the cheek and other subtle acts of love are nothing to be ashamed of.  It shows your lover that you aren’t embarrassed of your romance and will add a much-needed dimension to your relationship.

10.  Learn to love yourself

Part of the reason why some people have a difficult time appreciating romantic gestures is that they don’t understand why their lover is so fond of them.  Learning to appreciate your own talents, gifts and innate goodness will help you appreciate your sweetheart’s feelings and let you accentuate your best qualities.  Ultimately, learning to love yourself will teach you how to love your romantic partner more.