Archive for the 'Romantic Humor' Category

L’Amour De Blog: 3 reasons why blogging is like being in love

Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007

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For those of us who are addicted to blogging (who, me?) the symptoms of l’amour de blog are all too familiar.  The lump in the throat and twinkle in the eye when we gaze at a newly-uploaded banner image; the sinking feeling when we realize that the day’s events will keep us from checking our stats for hours; the deep sense of pride when months of hard work and dedication translate into a modest jump in Technorati rank. 

You unfortunate masses who’ve never experienced a deep, meaningful relationship with a blog have missed out on an achingly poignant truth: blogging is a lot like being in love.  In fact, for thousands of dateless programming junkies across the globe (don’t look at me!), the blogosphere is the closest they’ve ever actually gotten to going steady.

So if you’re a blogger, check out the following list of the top three reasons why blogging is like being in love . . . and look closely for any familiar symptoms.  If this post sounds all too familiar, your relationship with your blog may have already gone far beyond the platonic . . . and entered into the mysterious, intoxicating world of l’amour de blog.

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1.  In Your Eyes, Your Blog is Flawless

They say that love is blind, and nothing gives that old adage more weight than your infatuation with your blog.  You’ve spent endless hours making sure everything on your blog is just so: the banner image, the buttons, the sidebar, the links.  Heck, you even forced yourself to learn HTML just so you could figure out how to make the color of your anchor text match your blog’s overall scheme.

Yup, to you, your blog is beautiful . . . and that can be a good thing.  But not always, buster.  If you let the stars in your eyes make you blind to serious aesthetic problems on your site, you’re going to end up losing visitors.  That’s why you shouldn’t always trust your own judgement when deciding what works best on your blog.

Just as you do when you start dating a new person, ask people whose opinion you respect what they think.  Does your blog really look as good as you think, or are there changes you could enact to make it more friendly and functional?    

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2. Every Moment Away From Your Blog is Like an Eternity

The evenings and lunch breaks you spend with your blog seem to go by all too quickly, and when it’s time to leave the computer and tend to other things your stomach churns with a painful longing.  You daydream about your blog when you can’t be in its comfortable embrace: about the next post you’re going to write, about rearranging the widgets on your sidebar, about getting that next big link.

Missing your blog when you can’t be near it is understandable, but remember one thing: time away from the one you love is necessary for your own sanity.  Spend too much time with your blog, and your relationship will burn out and crash before the next Page Rank update.

So force yourself to spend time away from your blog and do things that normal people do.  You know: go to work, play with the kids, get some exercize.  Your blog—and the living, breathing human beings in your life—will thank you for it.

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3. The More You Put Into Your Blog, the More You Get Back

Just like a romantic relationship, the more time and effort you expend improving your blog, the more recognition and approval you’ll get.  Also like a romantic relationship, a large percentage of them end up failing because the participants just don’t want to commit to the amount of work it takes to really create something special.

The early months of your blogging relationship will sometimes feel like all work and no reward, but in reality you’re making a gradual investment that might not show returns until much further down the road.  So don’t reach for the easy way out and ”divorce” your blog when things start to get tough.  Remind yourself of why you fell in love with it in the first place, force yourself to write a few more posts, and weather the storm.

Remember: It’s the bloggers who are truly committed to posting, and who don’t let the rough patches get to them, who eventually find great success and happiness in the blogosphere.  In the not-too-distant future, when you and your blog are celebrating your first anniversary together, you’ll be thankful that you stuck it out. 

By the way, if you liked this post, you’d probably like 10 Reasons Why Blogging is Like Dating even more! 

 

10 reasons why blogging is like dating

Wednesday, May 30th, 2007

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Hey, did you know that learning about what works and what doesn’t work in blogging is a great way to polish your dating skills, too? It’s true! At its core, creating a successful blog is about communicating well, connecting with your audience, and putting on your best face . . . each of which are great romantic ideas for improving your personal relationships, as well.

So does this mean that the most successful bloggers have the best relationships, too? I don’t know the answer to that, but it sure seems that Darren Rowse, Alister Cameron, John Chow and Dan and Jennifer do a great job of injecting the same creativity, passion and intensity into their relationships as they do into their ultra-successful blogs. Having a great blog may not guarantee that you’l have a great dating life or marriage, but following the same secrets of success will certainly put you on the right track.

Luckily, you don’t have to start your own blog to learn what those secrets are. The top ten are listed below, tested and refined by millions of bloggers across the globe.Whether you use them to improve your dating life or your blog is up to you. Just remember: you can’t kiss a computer screen! :razz:

Top Ten Reasons why Blogging is Like Dating

1. First impressions are everything.

Sure, you may have plenty of useful, exciting stuff to offer someone, but they’ll never get a chance to find out if you don’t set the stage with a great first impression.

In dating, that’s done by taking good care of your physical appearance, having a positive attitude, and showing interest in your date. In blogging, you need a clean, professional design, easily-accessible and interesting content, and a readily-defined subject so your visitors know what you’re about right away.

2. You should never pretend to be someone you aren’t.

Playing a role and acting like you’re someone else may get you somewhere in the short run, but if you aren’t the person you’re pretending to be, you’re going to get found out eventually. If you’re trying to fool your date into thinking you’re an expert on a topic you have no passion for, they’re going to figure your out sooner or later.

The same goes for blogging. Blog about what you enjoy, not what your think will bring you money and fame.

3. Finding the one for you can take time.

What are the chances that your very first date will lead you into the arms of your perfect match? Close to zero. That special someone may be out there, but you may have to search for a long time to find them. Just because you’ve suffered from a string of bad dates, you shouldn’t give up hope and stop trying.

Similarly, just because you’ve had some failures with different blogs doesn’t mean you should turn off the computer and quit. Finding your niche in the blogging world can take time, too. Your failures are giving you more experience, and that next blog just might be the one that takes off for you.

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4. A bad reputation can ruin your chances.

Deserved or not, a bad reputation can sabotage an opportunity to start a relationship with an interesting new person. Sure, it’s possible to put your past behind you and become a better, more appealing person, but overcoming a bad reputation can take a long time and a lot of hard work. “Oh, I’ve heard of you” is never something you want to hear on a first date.

In the blogosphere, a bad reputation can be earned just as easily. Whether it’s through rude comments on other blogs or sloppy and unprofessional writing on your own, a bad blogging reputation can follow you around for years. Remember: everything you ever post online is going to be there for everyone to see for a long, long time!

5. Good communication is essential.

If you can’t communicate to your date about who you are, your passions and your dreams, it will probably end up being a pretty short evening. Creating a great romantic relationship is all about communicating, getting to know each other, and learning about what makes each other tick. Having a pretty face is fine, but without communication skills, you’re probably going to face a string of lousy relationships.

Communication is just as important, if not moreso, in blogging. You can distract a new visitor with flashy aesthetic stuff for a few minutes, but unless you’re able to effectively communicate to them about why your blog is worth visiting again, they won’t be back. And you might have great ideas for posts, but if you can’t write or edit worth a darn, who’s going to want to trudge through them?

6. You should concentrate on what you have in common.

Having things in common with your significant other is essential in maintaining a successful romantic relationship, and the old adage about “opposites attract” is hogwash. One of the best ways to capture your date’s interest and guarantee a second date is by discovering what you have in common. If you discover that you just don’t have any mutual interests or experiences, it’s probably a good sign that you just won’t work out.

Having things in common with your blog’s visitors is every bit as essential if you want to build a loyal readership. If you find yourself starting to post on things that have nothing to do with your readers’ interests, it may be time to close up shop and start another blog with a new subject.

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7. “Playing the field” can get you into big trouble.

There are plenty of people who do just fine with juggling several shallow, uncommitted relationships at once, but that sort of lifestyle will never let them reap the benefits of a loving, monogamous relationship. Having multiple relationships at once will make you less emotionally satisfied, less financially secure, and more at risk for a long list of unappetizing hazards.

And the exact same can be said for blogging! There are a few examples of people who have found success by starting a dozen blogs at once, but most people who try that just end up with twelve crappy blogs. It’s better to concentrate your efforts on one blog, building its readership and then branching out into other similar niches when you’ve found success with your flagship.

8. There’s nothing more attractive than self-confidence.

Arrogance is never an attractive quality, but a healthy amount of self-confidence is extremely appealing on a first date. Showing confidence in your abilities, lifestyle and unique qualities makes other people more excited about learning about you, and a confident, upbeat person is just plain fun to be around.

Showing self-confidence in your blog posts is a great way to build reader loyalty and trust. Never second-guess yourself, put your own blog down or back down in the face of inevitable criticism. Instead, present your content as professionally, confidently and optimistically as possible.

9. You’ll improve your chances for success if you make sure things are right in your life first.

Let’s put it bluntly: if you’re having serious problems with your family, career or mindset in your own life, it’s not the right time to try to find a person to share that life with you. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t allow yourself to get to know interesting new people until everything in your life is perfect. I am saying that concentrating on building a successful career, a successful relationship with your friends and family, and a optimistic outlook on life will help out your dating life immensely.

If you’re thinking of starting up a blog, make sure you’re in a position in your life to take on the responsibility. First and foremost, never assume it will be a replacement for your career. The livelihood that supports your family will always be more important than your hobbies, but plenty of bloggers have let their addiction to the blogosphere negatively affect their performance at work.

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10. Learning to love yourself makes it easier for others to love you.

That good old cliche about “love thyself” is some of the best advice you can get to build a better, more loving relationship. Feeling good about yourself, and being proud of the things you do, is a great way to learn to concentrate on your best qualities and share them with those around you.

You may enjoy blogging, but have you truly learned to love your blog? Do you feel good about its unique qualities? Can you look through the eyes of your loyal visitors and see what they enjoy about it? Being critical of ourselves and our projects is good to a certain degree, but make sure you allow yourself to be proud of your blog’s best qualities. Learning to love your blog will let you offer your readers more of what makes it truly great!

 

10 ways to kill your boyfriend

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007

Before you start getting nervous, I don’t plan on doing a post any time soon about how to kill your husband, how to kill your wife, how to kill your girlfriend, how to kill your boyfriend . . . or how to kill anyone, for that matter! I doubt those are the kind of romantic ideas our regular readers are looking for, and if you are, then you’ve come to the wrong place. :)

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But search engines aren’t only used for innocent research, as I found out today. While I was looking through my site statistics, I noticed that someone found Romance Tracker today by typing “10 ways to kill your boyfriend” into a Google search. Apparently my post on the top ten ways to make your relationship completely UNromantic now ranks at number two when you enter that search phrase.

I don’t understand why Romance Tracker is ranking for information on how to murder your significant other, but I doubt anyone intent on spousal abuse is going to find any useful tips here. It did give me an idea for a quick post, though.

I don’t want to disappoint those of you who came here looking for ways to kill someone, so here’s another Top Ten List that might help!

Top Ten Ways to Kill Someone . . . With Kindness!

1. Read something nice for them.

2. Write them a romantic poem.

3. Give them a romantic massage.

4. Make them a romantic meal.

5. Watch a romantic movie with them.

6. Write a list of your favorite romantic memories for them.

7. Write them a romantic email.

8. Send them a romantic greeting card.

9. Buy them a bouquet of flowers.

10. Take them out on a romantic date.

 

Top ten signs that you’re in love

Thursday, April 19th, 2007

Falling in love with someone is a wonderful, intense experience, but it can also be more than a little confusing to someone who’s never really been in love before. Love is an easy thing to define for people who have it in their lives already, but if you’ve never experienced it before, you might have a hard time figuring what the heck is wrong with you. Are you sick? Are you going crazy? Did someone cast a voodoo curse on you?

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Well, probably not. The first early symptoms of being in love can mirror illness or mental instability, sure. :) But once you learn to really enjoy being in love and get used to the idea of having a little old-fashioned romance in your life, you’ll start to appreciate these weird new symptoms you’ve come down with. (more…)